Entries categorized as ‘communication’
From Retrouvaille post session workbook:
quote:
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Use this scale as a guide to see whether or not you are giving your spouse healthy responses that promote good communication. Like anything, “Practice Makes Perfect.”
Worst:
When my spouse says something and I…
…reject or ridicule his/her feelings
…criticize him/her
…question his/her perceptions
…defend myself
…ignore him/her
…share just to meet my own needs
It is hurtful and indicates rejection
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel hurt
Poor:
When my spouse says something and I…
…ask questions about the facts
…give advice
…ignore his/her feelings
…reassure without identifying his/her feelings
It misses feelings and indicates toleration.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel frustrated
Good:
When my spouse says something and I…
…accurately identify his/her main feeling
It acknowledges main obvious feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel accepted.
Best:
When my spouse says something and I…
…ask questions about the feelings
…mirror back with empathy
…communicate understanding of his/her feelings
…try to understand non-verbals
It goes beyond the obvious to underlying feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel cared for and want to tell you more.
Categories: communication · marriage
quoted from Communion With God by Mark & Patti Virkler
quote:
(pg 106-107)I found that I generally forfeited the principles of mercy and faithfulness when dealing with others. I was harsh and severe in my judgment of them, and rather than being faithful and loyal to them, I came against them, more as the accuser of the brethren. Therefore, I assumed a satanic stance, rather than a Holy Spirit stance, that is, I tended to “come against” rather than “coming alongside”…
…it finally dawned on me that the accuser’s stance is satan’s stance (the word “devil” literally means “accuser”) and the comforter’s stance is the Holy Spirit’s stance. Since this revelation, I have made a commitment never to take an accuser’s stance against anyone. No longer will I be the expression of satan. If someone is struggling, hurt, down, or in error, I have one, and only one posture. That is, to come alongside him and comfort him, to be faithful to him, and thus preserve the dignity of all men and the unity of the Body of Christ.
Categories: communication · encouragement · humility · mercy · pride · responsibility
quoted from Communion With God by Mark & Patti Virkler
quote:
(pg 106-107)
I found that I generally forfeited the principles of mercy and faithfulness when dealing with others. I was harsh and severe in my judgment of them, and rather than being faithful and loyal to them, I came against them, more as the accuser of the brethren. Therefore, I assumed a satanic stance, rather than a Holy Spirit stance, that is, I tended to “come against” rather than “coming alongside”…
…it finally dawned on me that the accuser’s stance is satan’s stance (the word “devil” literally means “accuser”) and the comforter’s stance is the Holy Spirit’s stance. Since this revelation, I have made a commitment never to take an accuser’s stance against anyone. No longer will I be the expression of satan. If someone is struggling, hurt, down, or in error, I have one, and only one posture. That is, to come alongside him and comfort him, to be faithful to him, and thus preserve the dignity of all men and the unity of the Body of Christ.
Categories: communication · encouragement · humility · mercy · pride · responsibility
