Communication Skills: Worst to Best

From Retrouvaille post session workbook:

quote:
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Use this scale as a guide to see whether or not you are giving your spouse healthy responses that promote good communication. Like anything, “Practice Makes Perfect.”

Worst:
When my spouse says something and I…
…reject or ridicule his/her feelings
…criticize him/her
…question his/her perceptions
…defend myself
…ignore him/her
…share just to meet my own needs
It is hurtful and indicates rejection
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel hurt

Poor:
When my spouse says something and I…
…ask questions about the facts
…give advice
…ignore his/her feelings
…reassure without identifying his/her feelings
It misses feelings and indicates toleration.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel frustrated

Good:
When my spouse says something and I…
…accurately identify his/her main feeling
It acknowledges main obvious feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel accepted.

Best:
When my spouse says something and I…
…ask questions about the feelings
…mirror back with empathy
…communicate understanding of his/her feelings
…try to understand non-verbals
It goes beyond the obvious to underlying feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be… I feel cared for and want to tell you more.